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eckle002 06/29/2011 08:53 AM Report
Loved the topic and the authors...but I wish Charlie Rose would let them get a word in edgewise! The show would flow so much better if he would let them finish a sentence without interrupting.
Ellen_Dibble 06/21/2011 05:28 PM Report
robdverity, fine comment there. I'm going to sort of memorize it for use elsewhere, whenever. There have been times when I'd get ill when the mainstream pushed someone towards "help...elsewhere," as if to say, "Water off a duck; go away, be quiet." But this is a legitimate question, what are you searching for here? Who do you think we are? If you want your thoughts/feelings to be "caught," reformulated, think about real solutions. (Or do people find that online sometimes?)
Mark_G 06/21/2011 11:19 AM Report
Over the years, I certainly have seen lots of people express emotion and cry at work or in my office. I've never seen it as a sign of weakness. It's a moment and then you move forward. Enjoyed the intervew.
robdverity 06/19/2011 04:58 PM Report
Loose cannon rhetoric in search of what? Try a professional; not CR blog. Help is elsewhere, believe me. Most of us are losers here, trust me.
blank 06/19/2011 06:48 AM Report
and this is stupid i don't even know where to send this
just to understand that sometimes there are real life severe drastic situations that exist to use somebody's suffering to draw them in get them completely involved and then just spit them out with nothing practically dead with no way out
is an evil thing to do (if that's what's happening and if not why make it seem that way)
like try to understand what is going through somebody else's head the effect that you have what is their situation how what you do affects their life and the outcome it has
like i would not want you not to be happy
and i think leaving me in this situation when it would take so little to get me out of it is wrong when i always stick by
and i always take everything seriously even though nothing ever matches up and nothing makes sense
in some way or other if you leave me stuck in this situation a crime has been and is being committed
that's what i think
blank 06/19/2011 06:30 AM Report
it's okay whoever makes whoever happy just help me out of this situation i'm messed up big time with no way out and i put everything into this it might not seem that way but i'm not lying i just think that it would be evil to leave me stuck in this situation like this i have a plan and all i get through all this i'm just tired of being lost in confusion while messed up i'm messed up big time it's not words i live it for real i can be okay and get better and i just want people to be happy so it's okay i'm not putting blame on anybody but myself but this all has really messed my life up i'm not getting by i'm not surviving it's more severe than i make it out to be i didn't look at this whole thing as a scam to try to get help i really believed it and was trying i actually didn't get help cuz i thought this was more important
i cry all the time i don't know why then i feel better other times i think like okay things are going to get better just have to do this and that and i know things are going to be aright
but it's severe i don't want to live like this anymore
it said just trust and things will be okay it's not a crime to be delusional about myself i really why throw somebody into total insanity when they're really messed up already and only getting worse and worse and then just leave them with that just on top of everything accept that you're schizophrenic too just completely messed up with no way out
i always make it in the long run i feel like i'm not going to make it anymore it's beyond everything i can't survive i can't do anything it's driving me insane
it's like torture 24/7 and i just lie to myself and escape into something that's not real in my head
like i gave my life to this everything i did was for this and i wasn't trying to do that
i just think that it would be evil not to get me out of this situation every situation i was in i always stuck with it in my head
and i'm really messed up from everything (i know it seems pathetic in my head that i would do this and all my fault and it is but it said trust)
i understand not talking directly i shouldn't have been able to count on that but i didn't know it still was real in my head
like i made this more important (even if i failed miserably) and if you knew how severe what i'm really going through is that would actually mean something and i never wanted anything more than for people to be happy
i feel like i'm a genuine person and i had to trip through a lot of stuff and i really think that if you just left me stuck in this situation like this that would be evil so i don't think that you would but a lot of times it seems like that
like i don't know what's going on and it seems like that's what's happening i'm also just really messed up right now so when i get messed up and i start to lose my mind
i'm trying to become a better person if i made mistakes and i'm not trying to be a burden if that's what i am but after all of this i really think it would be evil to just leave me stuck in this situation cuz now i feel like i'm messed up and i lost my mind in a whole other way too and i'm not going to be able to get out of this like this (it's severe)
there's no words i just think it's wrong to leave me in this situation
Ellen_Dibble 06/18/2011 04:01 PM Report
I remember that report about women saying mountains of words a day and men fewer. The review at the Guardian link brings up the book: "The Female Brain" by Louann Brizendine, clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California in San Francisco. The idea is that women are more conversant with their feelings and men more bottled up. Also, she posits, women talk twice as fast. The scientific world did not receive this well. The book "disappointingly fails to meet even the most basic standards of scientific accuracy and balance ... The text is rife with 'facts' that do not exist in the supporting references." The conclusion at The Guardian was that this nugget of "info" is "urban myth," and it points out the author has not issued a counterblast as of 11/27/06.
Maybe someone can study whether the urban myth has changed secondary to the explosion of texting.
Personally, I think scientists might overlook people like me, who may audibly speak zero words for many days each week, sometimes a few hundred, rarely more. Who would notice? I'm like a tree falling in the woods. Unregistered.
I certainly know of one male in my working life who never stopped talking, probably counterbalancing several females. Probably construction workers don't talk because of the noise, and many jobs dominated by men are noisy and physically demanding, tending to favor the strong silent sort. Like the man cutting down that tree in the forest, without comment.
SharkswithfrikingLazers 06/18/2011 03:50 AM Report
"Women cry at work." No kidding. They also exhibit other human instincts like survival and sex drive.
What I would like to know is do they talk/communicate more than men? Remember the book that claimed women say an average of 20,000 words a day and men only 7,000:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2006/nov/27/familyandrelationships. If this were found to be true by real research it would be quite something.
I am not just talking about saying words but texting, Facebook communication, you know communicating. My own experience says women are communicating about three times more a day than men and this has a profound effect in the workplace. (Crying only a wee bit.)
Ellen_Dibble 06/17/2011 02:42 PM Report
It seems to me -- without the benefit of functional MRI's of the brain -- that children/women cry out of helplessness. Dogs too, maybe. I don't know if that leaves a different trail in the brain than the tears that come from loss, which is a different kind of helplessness, I suppose.
But it was interesting to hear that men report feeling better, purged in some way, after crying. But women report feeling worse. I suppose for them it's a rehearsal, the preliminary to actually digging themselves out of whatever hole they feel they've fallen into. I'm trying to think of a man crying at work. Wall Street, November 2009, something like that. Those might be tears of pent up frustration, maybe leaving a different track in the brain altogether, one mixed with tinges of guilt, which might be different from the tears of being unfairly wounded. I tend to think what happens at work could often be a sense of disbelief at various malfunctions, and the feelings steep or stew until one feels safe enough to unpack those feelings, maybe much later.
REMant 06/17/2011 11:19 AM Report
Our economic system is based on anxiety, and that in turn on feelings of shame. "The monstrous regiment of women" John Knox called it. Crying is of course the quintessential expression of loss. Physical and employment security are not I think much different in this paradigm, but the difference calls attention to the difference often remarked between Mars and Venus.